My 1st Crush

I was 5. I was in Mrs. Wunch's Kindergarten class. There were four rectangular tables in the classroom and there were 6 kids at every table. Each table was a color. There was a Red table (which I wanted to sit at because red was MY favorite color, dang it!) a blue table, a green table and a yellow table. I sat at the yellow table. I hated yellow. Lisa from across the street from my house got to sit at the red table. Not fair! She always got the good stuff. The red table, the Barbie dream house…the big brother. (I was an "only" and was extremely jealous that she had someone to play with when I wasn't around.)

There was a red-headed boy at the blue table. He faced me and I got to stare at him all day-well, ½ a day because kindergartens back then was either morning or afternoon…not full days for us 5 year olds (which was fine with me! I got to go home and eat my lunch and watch BOZO!) I crushed HARD for that red-headed boy. I had never SEEN someone with such red hair. I have ugly brown hair. Lisa was a pretty blond. My grandma had red hair-but it came out of a bottle and faded quickly back to light brown. I'm pretty sure this boy didn't get his color out of a bottle. His name was Jason. He had freckles-like me. We were soul mates. We had to be, right?How could we not have been meant to meet, be boyfriend/girlfriend forever and get married and have tons of freckled face babies?

So one day, during free time, where we could do anything-color, draw on the chalkboard, play with clay…I decided it was time to make my move. I saw Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyson (such a dreamy name!) put on one of his dads old shirts on over his clothes-backwards. I totally knew what that meant! PAINTING! Red Hair, freckles, a name that whenever I said it would bring a giggle out of my mouth and now I see that he's artistic. Sigh. I go and grab MY dads shirt and ask him if he could button it up the back.

{crickets chirp}

I asked again.

{maybe he's just staring at me because he is just now realizing how beautiful I am! My mom tells me all the time so maybe, JUST MAYBE, he's falling in love with me right this second!}

Before I get a chance to tell him that he IS my boyfriend, and as such he has certain responsibilities -Mrs. Wunch comes up and spins me around so SHE can button me up the back. Sigh.

I paint a big heart and the words JASON *hearts* DEEBOP and I show it to him. What he does next will live with me in my heart of hearts forever. He walks up to me, puts his hands on my shoulders and KICKS ME in the shins before going to the sink to wash the paint off his hands.

I cried. It hurt. And my shin hurt too. I went home that day and cried in my mothers lap. (Years later she tells me that it was cute and funny and she laughed about it to all of her friends! Can you believe it?!? So rude! By the way…did I tell you about the dance my son went to a couple of months ago? Lol)

The next day I went to school and instructed Lisa to not leave my side all day. I didn't want to see Jason. He broke my heart. I loved him. We were supposed to get married and have babies!!! Recess before school started was good-Lisa played 2 square with me. (Can it really be called "recess" if it's BEFORE anything starts?) We go to our classroom and take our pencil cases out of our cubbies. I open mine and-hello? What's this? There is the most BEAUTIFUL bracelet in my case. (It was ugly!) It was PURE GOLD! (It cost 10 cents from a gumball machine) I looked at Jason and he smiled. My broken heart was mended and the wedding is back on! I think I swooned all day.

At recess he told me that the bracelet belonged to his mom and he wanted me to have it. I was in LOVE!!!! I ran into the house to show my mom as soon as I got home. I explained that it was "an hair-loomb" (yeah, kids are dumb) and she told me it was beautiful and we wrote in my school scrapbook that I officially had a boyfriend!Finally! I'm almost SIX, by now-for crying out loud!

I don't know if it was weeks, or months…it could have been DAYS for all I know-Jason broke up with me. He gave "an hair-loomb" to Selena from the green table. A ring this time.

The wedding is off and I am crushed.

Update:

Did you ever see that Jerry Springer episode where the 1,000 pound man had to be CUT OUT of his home so he could go to hospital? I'm not saying it was Jason…. but wouldn't that have been nice? They say Selena moved away, but I like to believe that Jason smothered her with BBQ sauce and ate her-ala Jaba The Hut!

Oh, and by the way...Yellow is my favorite color and has been for years! :)